A lot has happened since my last blog. I have been helping takecare of Mother for the last year. We lost the battle on July 14th. I took it harder than I thought I would. After all she was 91 years old. But even at 61 years I needed to know I was someones little girl. I miss her and have picked up the phone a dozen times to call her. I even wanted to call her to tell her how great the funeral went. I have always had issues with somethings between Mom and I. She had a way of trying to make me feel guilty for the least little thing. And since I was a very busy mom and wife I just choose to not call her often. When the guilt would overwhelm me I would call her and joke to the kids that at least I was still in the will. Don't get me wrong I love her and all that she did but, I did learn one very important thing from her "Don't expect time, visits, or phone calls from your kids. Don't make it a chore for them to contact you. I want them to call when they want to. I want them to visit me when it's a good time for them. I want them to enjoy their time with me, not visit as a duty.
Guilt is a very useless thing. It only forces a person to feel pity, or worry for you. I vow to not ever do that to my kids. Believe me the kids I have given birth to will not let me do this to them. They know what I went thru and they all have told me that they won't let me do that. They will tell me if I slip into the "GUILT" mode.
Mother, I love you and I miss you.
Music Composer Valentine Cards (Set of 12)
7 years ago
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4 comments:
its about time you blogged!!!
Really is it true you pick up the phone to call her? mom? really?
have to say somtimes you do make us feel guilty....why? don't know because you are the poor widowed woman!! heheh we love you anyway!
MOM!!! yeah your back!! I think we all have been to busy to blog, but hopefully we can all get back in the swing of things!! glad your feeling better too!!
Yeah, I never feel the guilt, just my personality, but then you know that!!
I miss Ganny too, spending all this time at her house has be weird, I've been there more in the last month than the last 20 years, a normal person would feel guilty about that....but I just dont!! ???? anyway, love you!!
um... since we're confessing... um... i did NOT really miss my kids when i came to visit. I mean I TOLD them i did... but really, i didn't. I have felt soooo guilty about it. But now, after reading this i am like, "WHY WASTE TIME FEELING GUILTY???" after all, i knew they were safe, i knew i'd see them soon, so there wasnt any reason to miss them... There! I feel better!
ok, it's time for an update! We ALL want to hear what you have to say!
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