Lots has happened!

A lot has happened since my last blog. I have been helping takecare of Mother for the last year. We lost the battle on July 14th. I took it harder than I thought I would. After all she was 91 years old. But even at 61 years I needed to know I was someones little girl. I miss her and have picked up the phone a dozen times to call her. I even wanted to call her to tell her how great the funeral went. I have always had issues with somethings between Mom and I. She had a way of trying to make me feel guilty for the least little thing. And since I was a very busy mom and wife I just choose to not call her often. When the guilt would overwhelm me I would call her and joke to the kids that at least I was still in the will. Don't get me wrong I love her and all that she did but, I did learn one very important thing from her "Don't expect time, visits, or phone calls from your kids. Don't make it a chore for them to contact you. I want them to call when they want to. I want them to visit me when it's a good time for them. I want them to enjoy their time with me, not visit as a duty.

Guilt is a very useless thing. It only forces a person to feel pity, or worry for you. I vow to not ever do that to my kids. Believe me the kids I have given birth to will not let me do this to them. They know what I went thru and they all have told me that they won't let me do that. They will tell me if I slip into the "GUILT" mode.

Mother, I love you and I miss you.

They are every mothers nightmare. These two guys have a TV show on G4. They destroy things. Not the ordinary things like toys, or old things that are not useful. But things like houses, airplanes, bowling alleys, theaters. Here is the odd thing! They use only their bodies to destroy these things. I think they got this idea from my boys. As children my little wrecking balls destroyed almost every toy given to them. (they wanted to see how they worked) I remember a hot air popcorn popper that they took apart and kept the little motor. We were watching TV (Mike and I) one night and the lights went out. Here came Jason running down the stairs, around the corner and down to the basement to reset the breaker. Oh yes, they had stuck the two wire from the motor right into the wall socket. Oh yeah, we could have had our own TV show.

Ok, Ive had it! What is with all this snow. I can't believe it! But snow always make me feel comfortable. It is like I'm quiet inside. Very peaceful! I just don't want to drive in it. I like that feeling of a good movie and a warm blanket with a cup of hot cocoa. I'm thinking a real chick flick like Steel Magnolas, Grease, You've got mail, etc. Ok I'm off to the couch!

My last post sounded as if I was waiting on my shoes to walk to me......HAHAHAHA
I ordered them thru the mail, so I am waiting on them to be delivered. This age thing is really getting to me.

Ok new year......it's time to post on a regular basis. I am bored to death! I can't wait to go back to work. The only thing is I still don't know when that will be. They keep moving the return to work date back. I have been iced in to the house for days, spent extra time with Mother, slept until I can't close my eyes any more, and I have worked on famil history until I'm crosseyed. It is time WORK.!
My new year's resolution is to walk everyday. I will start as soon as my walking shoes get here. I need to wait on them because I have some foot issues. I spent too much on the shoes to not use them. So I have a monitary commitment. That will help me to DO IT!

Well Well Well, here I am facing a month lay off from work. Needless to say business is very bad. I am up for suggestions for what I do for the next few weeks. I prefer not to hear about babysitting. I love my grandchildren but I think I will take this time for me. I do have a small family history trip planned. And I will be working on sewing before Christmas. But let me here from you???What else can I do........

Today was my anniversary. Forty-two years ago Mike and I were married. I can't believe that it has been so long. We had a wonderful life together.

Wild Day

It has been a year since the tornado hit our little town. What a difference a year makes. We are so proud to be almost totaly recovered. People came from everywhere to help. It was great to do it ourselves and not sit and wait until the government showed up. We were denied FEMA three times. But thats ok, we did it our way.

sorry here are the pics.

grand parents day

today was grandparents at my granddaughters school. it was so much fun. We had breakfast and then each class did a little program. Syd had a special part and it was great. Her grandma and grampa Bell were there too. here are some pics. Enjoy.........

My Protector

Ok, I have a few crazy secrets. The first of many is that I love Dog The Bounty Hunter. I know, I know, it's redneck life at it's best, but I'm addicted to the show. Well, last night was Wedensday and as you all know it's Dog night. Well, maybe you don't know that, but they show about 2 hours of "DOG". I was watching it when I got a little knock on my door. It was Spencer. Mom had taken the other boys to scouts and Dad was watching TV so he and I had a DOG party. It was great! We had string cheese, chips, and a blanket. We got all snuggled up and he never moved. We watched until he was "Dog" tired. Ok, I feel completely responsible for the fact that he has changed his life goal from being a COP to being the next DOG. He is now on the dog trail. Sorry Ann and Jared.

Women in my life

I have been thinking about how I am influencing the other women around me. I work in an all female office. (3 of us are grandmothers and 1 (our boss) is 43. Am I a good example? The gossip runs amock around here and I try not to be part of it but sometimes I just vent like the rest of them. I need to work on that. I think when it comes to my daughters they are a better example to me than I am to them. (of course,,,,,,who raised them). If a person meets me on the street do I seem kind or do I appear to be a grouchy old woman? I smile at strangers and chat if someone ask a question and I try to leave every conversation on a positive note. It's hard when you don't have a spouse to tap you on the shoulder and say" why did you say that". As I get older I find it harder to join into conversations with others my age. Some older people just ramble on and on. Please tell me if I do that. (wait a min am I rambling) Any way I want to be a good example to other women that I know. But I want to learn from others also. This old lady thing is really hard.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Well, it's time for another birthday in our family. My daughter turns 30 something today. I remember what a wonderful baby she was. She slept thru the night the first night we brought her home frm the hospital. And it was a perfect baby family relationship from then on. When she reached 1 year old she decided she didn't have to be that good. She was a little angel until you told her NO. She didn't take that well. I do remember that thru the years her and I have had a wonderful relationship. She is a very good mom and and a great daughter. She has a great capacity for love, and a desire to do good things for her family and others. Ann,,,,,,,I love you and I am so glad you are my daughter. Happy Birthday. (the pain wasn't really that bad)

I live with Spencer.

We had a great time last night. We had a bonfire and roasted hotdogs and marshmallows. It was great. We saw a bug......(Spencer and Me.) and he wanted to step on it. I went into my "don't kill living things" and told him how we need those bugs on our earth. They feed the birds and keep our lawns fertilized and blah blah. He looked at me like I was crazy and started to back up and said "step away from the old lady". I just don't think he got it. What a kid. By the way he killed the bug anyway.

#1 Hit when you were born

I found this great web site to tell you what song was #1 on any given day. It is so cool http://www.joshhosler.biz/NumberOneInHistory/SelectMonth.htm

on the day my kids were born the hits were:
Amy: We can work it out (the Beatles)
Jason: Bad Bad Leroy Brown (Jim Croce)
Ann: I honestly Love You (Olivia Newton-John)
Josh: Tonights the Night (Rod Stewart)
Michael: Shadow Dancing (Andy Gibb)
Emily: My Sharona (The Knack)

This is a great time line, I can see how music changed during the 13 years I was having kids. When I graduated from High School the #1 was When a man Loves A Woman by Percy Sledge. When I was married the hit was Last Train to Clarksville by the Monkees. Good thing it wasn't a omen of things to come.

Well, today is my baby's birthday. (age withheld to protect me from feeling too old.) She is the dark haired one on the end. We were all done having children after Michael, but Mike had a dream that a dark curly haired baby came to him and said she wanted to be part of our family. I told him I was done and he needed to wake up and quite dreaming. He had the dream again and by the time he had the dream a second time I was already with child. I was secretly delighted to have one more child. When she was born Mike took one look at her and said that's the baby that came to me. Well she was a determined strong minded spirit before she came to us and brought that determination with her. She has been a great addition to our family. I love her with all my heart and miss her being here with me. My kids mean the world to me and I am the luckiest mom in the world. Happy Birthday Emily.........I love you.

My new apt

Well here it is. this is the living/bedroom section of my room. both the bed and loveseat face the
TV. Very convenient.

Missin Mike money and FHE

I really miss Mike. He was always the one with the answers to the worlds problems. I have struggled with finances and I keep thinking that he needs to be here to handle all of this. I just don't want to do it anymore. I'm greatful that our kids take care of me the way they do. It is amazing that I handle thousands of dollars every week at work and never have an issue, but I can't seem to handle the little daub of money I earn each week. I listened to Jared teaching the Family Home Evening lesson last night and he did a very good job. He was teaching about choice and accountability. Every once in a while I heard him say something that really made me miss Mike. Mike was a little long winded during his lessons. The kids would listen and listen and listen and then get that glazed look in their eyes. Michael would just fall over asleep. We had some great lessons but I don't think they remember them......most of the best ones were playing games and we were very good at playing games. Any one remember BUCKLE BUCKLE BEAN STALK. Everyone goes out of the room and one person hides a small object. Then they all come in and try to find it and when it is found the finder yells Buckle Buckle Bean Stalk. Simple but fun.